MULTIPLE PERSONALITY INTEGRATION HEALING FORM c. Dr. P. M. Schlosser, PhD. 2002 Preface: Many decades ago it was commonly thought that MPD, multiple personality disorder, or DID, different identity disorder, was not common among ordinary people. About forty years ago, experts in the field agreed that almost everyone has this dynamic. I hope this helps answer some questions about multiple personalities and identities. Please feel free to share with others. Contents: Integrating multiple personalities,and different identities.with detailed explanation of the combat personality Multiple Personality Integration Healing Form Protocol Introduction: One of the popular current themes in pop psychology is that we’re all ‘multiples’, (M.P.D: Multiple Personality Disorder, or Different Identities Disorder) meaning that we have a number of personalities or identities, all with unique traits, beliefs, feelings, values, and behaviors. It’s fitting to talk about these disparate selves as if we had our total energy fractionated, splintered, or “split off” into many universes, all of whom taken together make up the sum total of who we are. If we accept that this is true, that we’re many selves, not one integrated personality, how did this ‘splitting’ occur? What we don’t often hear is that each of these selves was formed at a traumatic time when we were triggered. Each triggering event, or traumatic event, called for unique survival strategies, unique defenses, emotions, values and behaviors. It’s like calling in a consultant who has talents that apply well to the challenge of a particular, often life threatening, traumatic situation. Since a new self, with its own inimitable coping strategies and strengths was needed to deal with the particular “demand” characteristics of each traumatic situation, we invented one! However, instead of being able to “call in” the consultant from outside ourselves, which as children we didn’t have the luxury to do, we actually formed/forged a new “self” creatively crafted out of the raw material, feelings, talents, etc. of our own personality. This trouble shooting consultant developed the special skills to handle the uniquely stressful, new challenge, constellation of stresses we’d never seen before. That’s why the different selves we formed under stress are so different from each other, and why healing each trauma offers an opportunity to re-integrate yet another aspect of ourselves. Potentially each trauma represents another self that was formed under a different kind of high stress, like the analogy of a bar of steel being forged under high heat to re-form the metal into a new cast. It follows in that line of reasoning that the more traumas we lived through,the more likely it is for us to be split into more and more selves. The exception to that would be the case where the same self could handle more than one traumatic situation because the demand characteristics were similar enough. In that case, one self, say ‘the negotiator’ self, who had already been successful, could use the same set of skills to successfully handle the “new” trauma. He/she continued to perfect this “best coping strategy” for that “garden variety” of trauma, and had to do it again and again. This is the basis for forming a major sub-personality, like the ‘combat self,’ as in the case of a combat vet, who faced trauma after traumatic war scene, utilizing the same set of coping strategies which served him well in all. That is, in this case where there were a lot of similar “war” traumas, which all had in common similar demand characteristics, (putting one’s life at risk), the ‘best’ way to handle it required similar, life-saving and life-taking strategies, strengths, behaviors, etc., then the same ‘combat self’ needed to be engaged repeatedly, because he/she was already adept at handling that kind of stress. Military training , notably, accommodated the formation of the combat self by putting recruits under life threatening stress and teaching them appropriate behaviors and programming to handle these aggressive situations. The resultant “military programming” is highly resistant to extinction. If the wives and families of these combat- conditioned vets were asked, they would tell you their loved one returned as a new person, in many cases a stranger who they no longer recognize as the same person who entered the military. The military’s claim to “make a young adult into a MAN” could in many cases better be restated, “We’ll turn your son into a paranoid man obsessed with surviving.” It’s not that the combat self is intrinsically wrong, bad, or needs to be gotten rid of (as if that were realistically possible anyway). The combat self has earned lots of accolades for being the way he is. After all, in the war situation this guy literally saved his own, and probably his comrads’ lives by being an extremist. He may still be needed on occasion to help deal with high threat, violent situations. Ordinarily, however, violent situations don’t arise all that often in civilian life. And, even if they do, the knee-jerk impulse to react violently must be tempered by emotional sensitivity. The problem is that the combat self needs to be re-programmed AGAIN—modified, mellowed and softened by re-integration with the main personality—in order to cope successfully with civilian, peacetime (non-war) demands. In civilian life the pure combat self is almost totally a misfit, and he is inflexibly unable to “change gears” to accommodate the demands of civilian life. The biggest problem with the combat self is that he had to numb out and toughen up (split off) in order to be able to endure combat violence without decompensating. This forced-insensitivity required loss of access to feelings other than anger and humor. Accordingly, the healing of the combat self is largely a matter of restoring access to caring and loving feelings, even while the combat self is still on duty. Since the combat self was forged in the fires of each war trauma, each time another such trauma can be relived and healed, this war self becomes more humanized and integrated a little bit more within the main personality. Each time this is done, correspondingly less and less, total absorption in the combat self is needed, to the exclusion of the “caring self”. Surprisingly enough, this formula for healing is not unlike the same process the rest of us, civilians, need to pursue also, to re-integrate our split-off selves. As children, we were more like combat vets than not. Our survival was at stake on a daily basis. The beauty of the Multiple Personality Integration Healing method is that it’s custom designed to help re-integrate each of the these split-off selves into the main personality. In this way the selves understand each other, they can see that all of them share a common goal of keeping the physical body they all share alive, and they stop fighting among themselves, and work together. This makes doing a trauma clearing much easier to perform, because all the selves agree to do it instead of part of the selves being skeptical, or being totally against it. Those of us who have been trained in how to do this are finding it to be an excellent way to accomplish that goal: understanding your personality as a work of art with you as the creative artist/sculptor. Some us have accordingly taken it upon ourselves as a self-renovation project, to get serious about integrating these splits, as a way to really become whole again. In this way, it becomes a fascinating journey to get to know yourself all over again, in terms of each self. It’s fascinating because many of these split-off selves can really surprise/shock you with how different their traits from those of your main personality. If you want to integrate these splits using The Multiple Personality Integration Healing Form, you’ll need to set aside a chunk of time (on average 2- 3 hrs) to gift yourself. The steps of the Integration Form allows each sub-personality to introduce itself, and share how it is contributing to the overall well being of the physical self. The Self reconnects with the energetic raw material from which each sub-personality was forged in the first place. Each sub-personality becomes integrated into the overall “dominant”conscious personality. The strengths of each sub self is integrated into each of the other sub selves. By doing this, the strengths of each one that are shared cancel out the weaknesses of the other sub selves. For example, the shy helpless feeling inner child self becomes strong and powerful like the warrior self, and the warrior self becomes pure like the inner child self. It’s an opportunity to get it right, finally, by integrating the best parts of all your inner selves into one unified whole self. In this way you emerge as a brand new and improved version of your previous self. MULTIPLE PERSONALITY INTEGRATION HEALING FORM Set aside at least 3 hours for this exercise where you will not be interrupted. Put about 15 to 20 chairs in a circle, or the equivalent of that, such as 15 to 20 pillows in a circle to sit on the floor. Have blank sheets of paper and a pen to write with. Soft music is good to play in the background, music that will help you go deeply within to meditate. 1. Start with asking the question of "How are you contributing to the overall well being of my self?" to your ordinary day to day self, using the name people usually call you by. [In the example given below, in explaining the process step by step, we are calling the ordinary self "Joe".] Joe sits in one of the chairs. He pretends that all his other sub selves, or personalities, are sitting in the circle looking at him, each one sitting in his or her own respective chair. Now Joe asks his primary self, his day to day self that he is now, to share out loud with the group how he contributes to the overall well being of the self. Joe may say: "I'm the one who goes to work, takes out the trash, pays the bills, is a husband and father and deals with business and all that goes with it. I deal with all the things that happen on in day to day life. He allows him self to go on for as long as he wants to, as long as he is answering the question, "How I am contributing to the overall well being of my self." 2. He put a piece of paper with his name "Joe", with a brief description of how he is contributing to the overall well being of his own self, at the foot of the chair he is sitting in. 3. He closes his eyes and searches inside himself, in his feelings, asking his subconscious mind to reveal another one of his selves, revealing another one of his sub-personalities. A new self shows up, it is the part of Joe that is tired of being married, tired of being caught in middle management at the job, and desperately wants to be free, to go out and discover the world. It wants to 'start over' and 'go away' and have more fun in life. Joe gives this self a name. He chooses "Freedom". 4.He picks a chair in the circle and asks Freedom to go sit in it. He physically gets up from Joe's chair and moves over and sits in Freedom's chair. He is now the self called Freedom. Freedom explains how he/she is contributing to Joe's overall well being. Joe listens carefully and does not interrupt. Freedom might say something like: " I keep you from going crazy. Your life is so predictable, you wake up each morning and do the same thing day after day. Your mind is getting dull from the monotony of it all. If it weren't for me buying you all those travel magazines, and making all those connections on Facebook with adventurous people, and allowing you to daydream about hang gliding off the Italian Peaks, and swimming with the dolphins, and dancing in the moonlight on camping trips, you'd go crazy!" He might have much more to say. He may get angry, or worried, about the lack of joy and adventure in his life. When Freedom is finished, Joe thanks him/her for sharing. He takes time to sit with the feelings that Freedom brought up. When he is ready, he writes the name Freedom on a piece of paper and puts it at the foot of the chair. 5. Now he asks if there is another self that would like to speak. He takes plenty of time. When another one 'speaks up', he asks it to tell the others its name. In this example, a self called "Romeo" speaks up. He moves physically over to another chair and sits down and becomes Romeo and answers the question of how Romeo contributes to his overall well being. Romeo might say something like this: "Look Joe and Freedom, [looking over to the chairs of Joe and Freedom] you and Shirley [Joe's wife of many years} haven't had hot sex in years. Its so boring that you almost go to sleep doing it. Your mind wanders to the football game, to the work at the office, to anything, because its so predictable and redundant. More and more you have been fantasizing making love to that girl at the office. You can tell your wife is not getting into it all that much either, at least not in a personally meaningful way, and its really a question of which of you is the most bored, but I guess its better than nothing. I feel really sorry for both of you. I am the part of you that looks at that pretty girl at the office, that notices how shy and vulnerable she is underneath her business like facade. I deeply care about her, and imagine how wonderful it would be to make her happy, to enjoy deep spiritual and wonderful sex with her, to go out to exciting restaurants and explore the world with her. I feel guilty about this. I know I'm much too old for her, and I know how much you care about Shirley, and how faithful you are to her and the family, but I can't help noticing that if you don't have some romance in your life you may loose your will to live, you may contract an illness, or an accident, or anything to get you out of your boring soul starving daily routine life. I add spice to your life. I give you something to look forward to each day at work. I make your life livable!" He goes on, "Look, you married Shirley when you were only twenty one. You didn't even know who you were back then. You had not had time to explore the world, or date many people, and you got in over your head and saddled down to a marriage and family and job way before you knew what you really needed or wanted to do in life. I'm just trying to keep who you really are inside alive." Joe lets Romeo take all the time he needs in answering the question of how Romeo contributes to his overall well being. When Romeo is done, Joe goes within and takes in everything that was said. He feels whatever feelings and thoughts have come up while Romeo was sharing. He writes the name Romeo on a piece of paper, with a quick sentence to sum up Romeo's contribution, and puts it at the foot of the chair. When he is ready, he asks if there is another self that wishes to speak up. 6. [While Romeo was speaking, Joe had noticed that another self, one that has high ideals and priorities, was getting upset with what Romeo was saying. Even though this self could see Romeo's logic, it was sickened at the thought of Joe's betrayal of Shirley's trust and their wedding vows.] Joe asked this self what it's name is. The name "The Padre" seemed appropriate. Joe sat in another chair and become The Padre. Padre explained how he is contributing to the overall well being of the self. Padre explains that he is the record keeper. He is the one who guards Joe's soul and keeps him from committing sin. He is protecting Shirley and the family and making sure that no betrayal takes place that could tear apart the family and traumatize the children. He says to Joe, Freedom and Romeo, " I understand the double bind that you are in, I understand what Romeo and Freedom are saying, and yes, it is true, that no man or woman can live year after year in drudgery and monotony. However, I am also the practical one. With your income you could not afford to support two households or lifestyles if you were to divorce Shirley. The children would be torn apart, their world and innocence destroyed. I just can't let you do it." "You would never be happy knowing what you had done to them. It would haunt you day and night. Even though your life may seem to be a dead end, hurting them, those that love and depend on you, would be even worse." "Personally, I don't know what to do. I see the double bind you are all in. I will pray to God to take this matter into His own hands and find a solution that is the highest good of all concerned." With that, The Padre is silent, and looks up to the others for a response. At this point, another personality, a very shy and young one, raises its hand and with great courage says he wants to speak. 7. It's name is Sonny Boy. It is an inner child self, a younger self that is about 4 years old, the self that was Joe when he used to play in the sandbox under the giant oak tree at the house in the suburbs where he grew up, before his parents moved to Cleveland. After placing a paper with The Padre's name on it at the foot of Padre's chair,he gets up and moves to another chair, Now its Sonny Boy's turn to share how he is contributing to the overall well being of the self. Sonny Boy says shyly, with tears flowing quietly out of his eyes, "None of you guys has any fun. You are all doing your best to 'be good' and do 'the right thing', but none of you is really very happy, and none of you knows how to just be and appreciate the beauty of just being alive and in the world, just as it is." "Living with you, all four of you, just makes me want to die. I guess I do like Sterling [Joe and Shirley's little 3 year old] and Tommy is okay I guess, although he is a little too old for me [Tommy is 9 years old, the oldest brother]." A long silence follows. Finally, Sonny Boy stops talking and starts to cry harder. After a while he looks up and yells, "I'm just so tired of all you adults! I just want to have fun! I thought when I grew up I would be able to do all the things I wanted to do, but all I ever get to do is work work work work work work work, and always feel bad all the time because there is always something else that I should and need to do." All four adults, Joe, Freedom, Romeo, and The Padre, are aghast. They are speechless. They know Sonny Boy is right, none of them are really happy. They are all, in their own way, living lives of quiet desperation. At this point, another self makes itself known. It is a female self who calls herself the Fairy Princess. She raises her hand. Joe labels Sonny Boys chair, and moves over to another chair and becomes The Fairy Princess. 8.Fairy Princess, "I am you guardian angel self. I believe in your fondest dreams Sonny Boy. I know that there is an answer that will heal all of us. My job is keeping this vision of healing and joy in my heart and never losing faith. I am the one that knows that, in spite of everything, all will be all right. With God all things are possible." "I am the one who saved your life that time when the car almost hit you. It was when you were twelve and playing ball." She goes quiet, and another self speaks up. 9. This self is a male, and is sneaky and furtive. He calls himself "The Sneak". It is he that goes out at night sometimes, after calling Shirley to say he is working late at the office, and goes down to the bar and gets drunk. "Look you guys, I know that you all mean well and all, but none of you know what I know. Joe's heart is giving out. He is in denial about it, but I have read about the symptoms, and he shows all the signs. None of you are going to have him around for long, so you just as well give up and give thanks for what little life you do have left as part of him." "He's not going to go to the doctor, he is afraid of them, and of the expense, and, well, just to be honest, there is a part of him that really does not want to go on living. This will give him an easy and dignified way out. His life insurance will take care of Shirley and the kids." There is shock. Silence, as the others take this in. Deep in their hearts they know its true. Finally, another strange self wants to talk. So Sneak's name is written on a sheet of paper, with a brief synopsis of his contribution, and put at the foot of the chair, and Joe's body moves over to another chair. It is a self called, The Watcher. Watcher sits in his chair, puts both hands out and places one on each knee. One by one he looks at the selves in the other chairs and says in a quiet steady voice, "None of you sees the big picture. None of you. I know you all mean well, but I am the one who remembers why Joe came down into incarnation in the first place. I am the one who knows that he will meet a gifted healer who will heal his heart. I am the one who knows that Tommy will be a gifted environmentalist who will head a successful drive to save an endangered species. I am the one who knows that Shirley would be glad to give Joe a divorce, she has been secretly wanting one herself all these years. She married Joe to get away from an abusive father. Joe was popular at school. She knew her parents would approve. She thought she would grow to love him. I am the one who knows she will go on and meet a wonderful man who will bring her and the children happiness." Watcher looks over at Padre. "Padre, are you aware of how much children know? Those two little boys have known all their lives that their parents are not happy. More than anything, it would heal them and Shirley if they could experience Joe as a happy man, fulfilling the warrior, the lover, the priest and the mystic within in a more mature relationship. They would be joyful for him to be an example to the boys of a successful life,of the joy of manhood and of life in general" "Yes, it will be difficult. I am not saying it will be easy. But going on in this present course will lead to disaster. Already the whole family is seriously depressed. Tommy has begun using drugs to feel better. it is just a matter of time until he gets into real trouble if something isn't done." My contribution to the overall well being of our shared self is to bring some practical sense into this family, and guide each one to safety. 10. Everyone is shocked by what the watcher said.Then, as if this wasn't getting dramatic enough, a new self speaks up. It is a guilty self. It asks to be named "Guilty, or NoGood". Joe moves over to another chair for NoGood to speak after labeling Watcher's chair. NoGood speaks, "I have secretly been hating the whole thing. I'm angry and tired. I'm so disgusted with this mediocre life of ours, this charade, that I even stole money from the emergency fund at work. I really hate you all. I hate everything." "You need to understand that I have always tried to please everyone. At first it was mother and daddy when we were little, then it was the teachers and coaches at school, then it was the bosses at work. I try to please Shirley, I try to please The Padre, I try to please everybody. Nobody seems to care or to appreciate what I do. So I give up." "None of us have ever been free to just do what we want to do." "I feel guilty because I just don't care anymore." "I feel guilty because I don't have faith like Fairy Princess." "I have lost faith in everything, even myself." NoGood heaves a sigh of relief at getting this confession out. He looks down at his feet. Shrugging his shoulders, he admits, "I don't know what to do." 11.At this point Joe keeps moving from chair to chair as different parts of his self speak up. There is a passionate frustrated creative artist self who wants to design archetypal men and women's clothing, a philanthropist who wants to do good works, a scholar who wants to study ancient history, a comic who sees the humor, a wise zen master who knows how to go with the flow, and more! He writes each one's name and description of their contributions and leaves a paper at each chair. About 15 to 20 selves reveal themselves in total, each one bringing an important piece of the puzzle to the table. THIS IS THE END OF THE SESSION Reminders: Be sure to take your time. Sometimes the most pivotal selves wait until the last to reveal themselves. When you feel that all the selves have come out and explained their contributions, write in a notebook all their names and descriptions. Surround yourself in a 'healing bubble' for a few days while the psyche, or subconscious mind, integrates all the information that has come to light. In this time, the different selves see each others point of view, and absorb the strong points and gifts that each brings to the collective. The strong points of each one cancels out the weak points of each one. When we heal the wars waging inside of ourselves in this way, then the wars in the outer world cease. NEXT SESSION In another similar session, again allowing at least a few hours to fully explore,set up the chairs in the same way as before and ask the selves again, one at a time, these questions: "When did you come into being? What age was I when you came into being? What was going on in my life that you had to come into being to deal with? What were the circumstances that caused you to save my life? If any of the selves, and memories, are still very traumatic upon remembering them, it is good to set up a time as quickly as possible to do a Trauma Clearing, using the 23 question Trauma Clearing Form that can be downloaded at www.spiritussanctus.com
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