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Tuesday, March 25, 2014


What Can You Bring?

The hardest part of most of our lives is relationships.  Relationships provide the most amount of contrast in our lives.  This is why relationships are the meat of expansion.  We do not all walk around with post it notes attached to our foreheads, which advertise our strengths and weaknesses.  It is hard to know what other people can offer us and what they can’t.  We don’t even know what we can offer other people and what we can’t.
I suggest that today, in order to bring yourself closer to enjoyable and mutually desired friendships, you make a list of what you can bring to friendships and what you can’t bring to relationships. I’ll start.
 What I can bring to a friendship
  • Expansion/evolution
  • Meaning
  • Conversation/dialogue
  • Trusting them with their own desires
  • Finding an option that makes us both happy (3rd path)
  • Soul connection
  • Help them be their true self (not conform to me or anything)
  • Bring their shadow to their awareness
  • Perspective/Insight
  • Open mindedness to new ideas
  • Desire / Willingness to find a meeting of minds
  • Inspiration
  • Wisdom
  • Honesty
  • Understanding
  • Activation
  • Food Sometimes
  • Aesthetic Taste
  • Gifts
  • Quality time when I get time
  • Freedom
  • Listening
  • Support of their desires
  • I can see them in their true light
  • Encouragement
  • Intimacy
  • Willingness to work through anything if I want it to work out
  • Sense of worth/ being needed
  • Shared interests
  • I believe in them
  • I can bring the best out in people/ full potential
  • Bring people together
  • Help them with emotional awareness
  • Meaning
  • Depth
  • New experiences
  • Entertainment
  • Spiritual resources
  • Uniqueness
  • Self improvement tactics
  • Spontaneity
  • Caring
  • Inclusion
  • Intimacy effort
  • Thinking
  • Feeling of epic-ness
  • Loyalty – I’m not fairweather
  • Intelligence
  • Sensitivity
  • Humor
  • I give of myself in a time of crisis
  • Generosity
  • A sense of belonging
  • Reliable “not flaky”
  • Courage
  • Aptitude
  • I can multitask
What I can’t bring to a friendship
  • The guarantee of pre-schedule time to “hangout”
  • Tolerance
  • I’m especially not tolerant for people’s unwillingness to admit to their own dark side/weaknesses
  • Prioritization
  • Self Sacrifice
  • Go with the flow
  • Recalling good times
  • Secrecy/ Privacy unless- divulging will cause serious consequences
  • Unconditional positive focus
  • Regularly expressed gratitude / appreciation
  • No jealousy
  • Fun
  • Undivided attention when I’m focused on a project
  • Proximity effort (It is rare that I will go out of my way to physically come together with someone in time and space)
  • Patience with apathy and repetitive ignorance of one’s own patterns
  • Respect of different views (I do not agree to disagree, it is a contradiction to meeting of minds)
  • Phone calls (I wont make them)
  • Answering my phone when someone is trying to get ahold of me
  • Stability
  • Service
  • Commitment after I get hurt repetitively
I’m interested to see your lists.  Feel free to post them in the comment section below this blog.  In order to get what we want and need in life, we have to figure out what we want and need andadmit to it.  In order to form the kinds of friendships we want in life, we not only need to admit to what we want and need from friendships, we need to admit to what we can give to friendships and what we can’t.  It is difficult to be honest with ourselves about these things, but it is essential.  We cannot pretend to be different than how we are.  Change is inevitable, but love is not present if it needs change first in order to exist.  We cannot love people for what they could be.  We must love them for whom they are as if nothing about them will ever change.  We need to admit to how we are and allow our lives to be filled with people who accept the “now” of who we are.
written by teal scott. swan

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